


Ich hab's dir nie gesagt/I've never told you(Songfic)

by AngelofAme



Series: Songfic collection [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Post Break Up, Songfic, a glimmer of hope at the end, additional scene 4x16, so emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 19:26:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6342058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelofAme/pseuds/AngelofAme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my take on how Oliver reacts after last scene of 4x17</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ich hab's dir nie gesagt/I've never told you(Songfic)

**Author's Note:**

> I would recommend you listen to the song while reading [ Ich hab's dir nie gesagt bei Laith al Deen ](https://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FuyLWTPnWGEo%3Ft%3D48&h=kAQGgtXNs&s=1)

 

  |    
---|---  
  
Ohooohhhhoo

ooohhhhoo

Spät, als schon alles schlief,

Late, when all are sleeping

vertrau ich diesem Brief

I entrust this letter

an was ich sonst nicht sag

these (things) I don't normally say

ich in mir vergrab

which I buried inside myself

 

Oliver had been standing in the arrow cave, motiong. How could he. The woman, the love of his life, his light, had left. And this time she took all hope to be able to fix this with her. She may still love him, but that didn't matter anymore, not to her. He had lost her trust, he had broken their bond beyond repair. He let himself sink in her chair. He can’t give up, because when he gives up, there is nothing left. Then all he has left, would be darkness, but he is out of options, options whose wouldn’t push her further away. So what was left there do?

 

durch die Feder fließt

Through the quill flows

das was man sonst nicht sieht

which you don't usually see

was in mir geschieht

what happens inside me

denn ich habs ja nie gesagt

then I've never told

hab die Worte längst gefunden

I have found the words long ago

ohhoohhh

ohhoohhh

Habs einfach nie gewagt

I simply never risked it

Denn diese Worte schlagen Wunden

because these words crack open wounds

Und wir wär'n für alle Zeiten

And we would for all times

auf verschied'nen Seiten

on different sides

  


He paced the room up and down. Thinking something, anything. He felt so lonely and alone, like his life didn’t matter anymore. He felt hollow on the one hand, on the other hand he was suffocating. He couldn’t think straight, every thought reminded him of the loss he had to go through, because he was a bad person, but wanted so much more for himself.

  


Auch wenn die Tür sich schließt

Even when the door is closed

Bin ich nicht so wie du mich siehst

I am not how you see me

Entspringe keiner Phantasie

Don’t originate of any phantasy

Das verstehst du nie

you'll never understand

Ich schreib nur auf,

I write just down

was im Moment,

what at this moment

mit aller macht nach draußen drängt,

with all might on getting out

den Augenblick bestimmt.

the moment decides

 

All he could think of was nothing. Nothing that could help him. The pain was too strong, didn’t let him think straight. The pain was all consuming, like a black hole. His heart laid shattered at his feet. The darkness threatened to consume him, as well as all his memories of her. He had lost her. He stalked over to dummy, threw punch after punch. All he tried to do was not to drown in the pain of his heart break.

 

Denn ich habs ja nie gesagt.

then I've never said it

Hab die Worte längst gefunden

I have found the words long ago

Ohhooohhh

Ohhooohhh

Habs einfach nie gewagt

I simply never risked it

Denn diese Worte schlagen Wunden

because these words crack open wounds

Und wir wär'n für alle Zeiten

And we would for all times

auf verschied'nen Seiten.

on different sides

 

Nothing helped, all he could think was of her. He punched harder, but he was grasping at straws. The atmosphere of the room, the room which she had inhabited, this room she once was filled with her presence, it seemed so empty, so void of any life, of any happiness. He gasped for air, he couldn’t breath anymore. He felt a panic attack coming. No one was there to help him. He ran without thinking where.

  


Ich hab angst vor diesem Schritt,

I am scared of this step

weil's danach keinen mehr gibt,

because after that there is no turning back

wir stürzen aus der nächsten Welt

we plunge out of the next world

dahin wo all das nicht mehr zählt.

there, where all that doesn't count anymore

  


He found himself on the roof. He pulled air deep into his lungs, tried to calm down. He sat down on the floor and cried. He broke down, he let himself go, in the hope it would ease the pain, it would give him an answer. And while he was crying he let himself feel the pain, because he deserved it. A piece of paper was all of sudden in his face, probably carried from the wind over to him. He plucked it from his face and stared at it, And then he came to the idea, he could write her a letter, lay it all down.

 

Ich habs ja nie gesagt,

I've never said it

Mich viel zu lang geschämt.

I was ashamed of myself for too long

Dir zu sagen was ich fühl

to tell you what I feel

War ich noch nicht bereit.

I wasn't ready

Aber die Zeit hat nichts gebracht,

but the time didn't help at all

Habs deswegen nie gesagt.

because of that I've never said anything

  


So he wrote a letter and poured everything he had experienced, everything he had felt, he laid it all out in the open, he bared himself to her.He wrote down all his secrets. The sun rose when he finished the last sentence. And he realized something if he wanted to truly get her back, he had to figure out who he was, on his own. Because he had realized he was without her nothing and he wanted to be something, someone worthy of her. So he had to become someone who he was proud of, who he would look up to. He had to become better. He had to become his own light. And for the first time since walked out last week, he felt hope, hope for a happy life of his own.

 

Ich habs dir nie gesagt

I've never told you

Ich hab die Worte längst gefunden,

I have found the words long ago

habs einfach nie gesagt

simply didn't say anything

denn diese Worte schlagen Wunden

because these words crack open wounds

und wir wär'n für alle Zeiten

and we would be for all times

auf verschied'nen Seiten

on different sides


End file.
